"The Wedding Date."

Most girls fantasize about there wedding date and how wonderful it will be ... it rained today in Utah ... I don't know about California but it rained today ... so I don't know about you or how much my readers may know but today was my "Wedding Date" the day that I had put aside to be sealed to someone for time and all eternity ... WOW! ... the thought of it ... the fact that I, today was supposed to have been stepping into a new chapter of my life that led me away from single-dum ... it totally boggles my mind ... I was going to marry someone ... I was so ready to give my life to a man that, it turns out was not ready to give me his ... WOW! ... Today was hard ... these past 1 and a half to 2 months I have been doing all I can to forget ... well maybe not forget but put out of my mind the fact that I was in love with someone and that one day decided he just wasn't all that in love with me ... and I have been doing OK with it until today ... today was hard ... it was unacceptably hard ... :'( IT SHOULDN'T be like this I have talked with him, I have talked with others! I have been preparing myself for when this day would come! I even hung out with my brothers today but still IT DIDN'T WORK!!!! :( Why it didn't work I don't know but I know that having these feelings is something that shows even more weakness on my part and I'm tired of it! I am a strong girl and I know that the lord sent me through this because he loves me and he knows whats best! I need to just trust him! There are so many times where I wonder what was and is wrong with me and I just know that, that wont go away easily ... I know what people say and I know what they will say but please I just, I just need to finish climbing this mountain that I started ... I know that I had a good thing it just stinks when that good thing gets lost ... and sometimes its lost for reasons that still may not make any sense to me! :( but that is life ... life is full of disappointment and so we all know to keep our heads as high as we can until one day we just cant so we start over again weather we want to or not ... well anyway ... today was hard ... it just was hard and I probably should of left it at that but I didn't so thanks for reading.

-naomi